Yet Another Sri Lanka Page

SRI LANKAN HUMOR

Top Ten List

This was written, evidently towards the end of the 1995 baseball strike in the US. It was also after the People's Alliance government had been in the office for a few months. It is increasigly clear that no matter what government is in the office, the business is as usual, in the resplendent land.

On this day, in memory of Babe Ruth's 100th birthday and the last day of baseball negotiations (hopefully), here's a special top ten list.

Opening: From Colombo "here-only you get insulted if you speak the native language, no?" it's the Late, Late, Late Show with David Thondaman.

Tonight's guests: World's first man to become a Presidential advisor without any qualifications--Sanath Goonetillake, the man who actually runs the country--Loku Athula, and the musical group Nirvana with the new lead singer Ma-Doll Sobhitha. Plus, G.L. Pieris and the university band.

And now, the man who put "money" in "money for nothin'," Daaaaviiiid Thondaman.

From the home office in Kandy-Light (100 fewer calories than regular Kandy) here are the Top Ten agreements made in a secret all party conference.


   10. Forget the federal system; make a "National League (NL)"
       and a "Sri Lanka League (SLL)."

    9. SLL MUST have one of the following at any given time: Bandaranaike,
       Dias, Kumaratunga, Ratwatte, Gopallawa.

    8. NL MUST have one of the following at any given time: Senanayake, 
       Jayawardena, Dissanayake, Premadasa.  (blood relation okay without
       proper name)

    7. All first round draft picks MUST be from Kurunduwattha.

    6. No salary/age caps on political parties.

    5. Designated Hitters only in NL.  (ie: Soththi Upali)

    4. "Spring Training" *wink* *wink* must be in Singapore.

    3. No free-agency between leagues, except for Anura, Ronnie and Thonda.

    2. Tie:  No Cubs in play-offs.
             No corking any Bandaranayake.

 And the number one agreement made in a secret all party conference

       No Sereppu or Soup endorsement deals.

Thank you and good night. Drive safely.