Yet Another Sri Lanka Page

SRI LANKAN HUMOR

Top Ten List

This was written during the time when the People's Alliance (a coalition of middle and leftwing political parties) campaigning for the general election in 1994. The UNP was still in power. Around this same time, it was announced that Lisa Marie Presley and Michael Jackson were married.... to each other!

Opening: From Colombo where natives speak Singlish everyday, it's the Much Later Show with David Ballotman. Tonight, rich-socialist G. L. Peiris, comedian D.M. Jayaratne and the musical group Sirimakka and the BandWagon. Plus M. Sobitha and the world's most dangerous monks. And now, a man still waiting for the fat lady to sing, Daaaaaviiid Ballotman.

From the home office in Thimbirigasyaya, Sri Lanka, here are the Top Ten things overhead during the People's Alliance election campaign.

  10. "Don't worry about it Madam, the SLMC ain't getting a thing."

   9. "This time we will bring rice from our own ``chandrika~wa.''"

   8. "What family business?  Bandaranayake, Ratwatte and Kumaratunga are 
       three different families, no?"

   7. "Forget that one.  My next film, `thawamath sa~garayak ma^dha,' will
       be about the only honest man in a ruthless dictatorship."

   6. "Chandrika married Michael Jackson?"

   5. "Queues are good for you."

   4. "That's a typo, Mr. Chan da Dayaka. It should be Rosemead Place, 
       BADDEGAMA."

   3. "Hello Chandrika, this is Tamil Times.  Can you please give us an 
       interview on the ethnic iss"...  eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

   2. "Free alcohol for everybody under the Chandrika government."


   And the number one thing over heard during the PA election campaign

      "Mrs. Bandaranayake? ... Oh Yes, that's me, of course....  I have
       to go to an election rally?  Why, when is the election?"

Thank you and good night. Drive safely.